wow its' definitely been a while... [Tuesday / 2:08 / :28] i won't start out with venting becuase all i want to do is say hello to everyone and let them know i miss you all so much... im so sorry i have not been on lately hee hee. well lets see i'd like to say hello to jackie and let her know i idolize her in many ways...you're beautiful! Shannon ...we don't talk much but i sure wish we did cuz i hear you're amazing! Ritesh i remember when i saw you walking down mayberry so i tryed to pick you up to go to my club and you said you weren't going there but an hour later i see your gorgeous face coming in my door...i just hope i made you're night a little better! Aaron why must you be so beautiful? why must you be so untouchable? you're like this perfect thing that no one can touch because they are too afraid to imperfect it. you make me smile just by looking at me! and last but most certainly not least Sarah Jacques...wow what can i NOT say about you. you are my life. we have been through so much shit together it's amazing to see we are still alive emotionally ...i do know we both died inside many times because of certain persons but we always had each other there for one another to pick us back up. i honestly can say i love you and thank you my sister from another mother!!! and to anyone else who reads this and i did not mention you it is only because these are the ppl who seemed to really care about me and were never fake with me...not once. if you can show me you are not fake then perhaps in the future you will have a spot deep in my heart like these ppl have had and always will. i love you all dearly... READ · 2 · COMMENT

i don't know why... [Tuesday / 0:53 / :28] Have you ever gotten to the point where you can't figure out why you do things. you just end up doing them because maybe, just maybe it'll make everything all better again. do you ever wonder what people would say if you didn't wake up the next morning. i think about this kind of shit every night i lay myself down into bed. hwy should they care if i don't wake up. do any of them truly love me. my boyfriend can easily say it...but can he show it? i don't see it. does my mother even give a flying shit about me. does one of my best friends really care about me or does she just seem to want me around when no one else it. the only person i can think of that truly cares for me is SaRaH...and i thank you for that. maybe thats why i do wake up in the morning...i don't want to lose such an amazing friendship i have found. well here i go to bed and hoping not to wake up in the morning, but hey what can you do? READ · 1 · COMMENT

CHRISTMAS!!!!!!! [Wednesday / 19:31 / :22] christmas is so fucking soon i can't fucking wait. my boy and i are going to my grandparents house for christmas eve and then he's staying the night and waking up with my family on christmas day. i am sooooo excited. there are so many fucking presents under my tree i am baffled......what a funny word. well i got my tattoo today and sarah held my hand it was amazing and it's just soooo beautifyl. i love it. it hurt like a BITCH at moments but hey it's worth it bro. well love you all and hope you're all having a fabulous vaca...jessica i miss you sooooooooooo much...call me! and sarah you know i love you. so call me even though you already do like every second of my life...haah..just fucking with you...well merry christmas to all and to all a good night!!!!!!!!!!!!! COMMENT

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